The Family, DEFINITION, types and christians understanding

What is a family?

• Family is the basic social unit of human society. This basic unit is extended to include relatives bound together by blood, marriage, friendship, and adoption. They are all members of the family.
• In Kenya, there are many types of families.

a. Types of families

i. Nuclear Family

Nuclear family is parents and their children, it is father, mother, and children. There is an increase of monogamous families or nuclear because of urbanization as rural youth come to towns in search of white-collar jobs. Migration to cities by people of different tribes has led to pluralism. Education, high cost of living have led to the death of the African culture, which required men and women to marry many partners to produce many children to defend their tribe.
Advantages of nuclear families are many.
One, the man is able to give undivided attention to one wife and children. Two, there is sharing of mutual love, and peace in the home. Three it is economical to manage one family. Four there is little competition for attention, less strife, quarrels and stress. Five, it is easier to monitor the behaviour of a few children.

ii. Polygamous family

Polygamous family consist of Father, mothers, children. These type of family have disadvantages in modern Kenya. Modern society is a cash economy. Thus if a man has many wives and children, they may lack basic necessities like food, shelter, education and clothes.

iii. Single parent family

​Single parent family has one parent, and children. Single — parent families are created by several circumstances. One is by parents separating. Separation of parents is due to several reasons. These are for example,

1. one partner going to another country and failing to return to his or her country and family.
2. Two, a single family is created by divorce. Divorced parents may decide not to marry again.
3. Three is when one parent refuses to marry. This happens when a girl gets pregnant and the boy does not marry her.
4. Four is because of death of a spouse. The remaining parent may decide not to remarry.
5. Five is when some mothers decide to have children without marriage. This may not be correct as there is no research to suggest it.
6. Six is imprisonment of one partner for a long time. One parent is left looking after children because one is in jail.

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iv. Extended family

Extended family — father, mother, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins. This is the common family type in traditional African communities.

v. Children led family

Children led family. This happens when parents die and the 1st born takes care of brothers and sisters including cousins.

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vi. Grandparent headed family

​Grandparent headed family. The HIV/AIDs epidemic has introduced this type of family where grandparents take care of their grandchildren due to the death of both parents especially the mother due to HIV / AIDS disease. This scourge has made many children orphans. In other cases parents go for further studies abroad and leave their children with their parents.

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b. Traditional African family values and practices

• In African societies creation of a family is through marriage, and subsequent procreation. Family is viewed as a sacred institution in African society.
• The African traditional family includes the dead (ancestors), the unborn children and the living.
• An African traditional family has obligations and duties. These were
  1) offering sacrifices to ancestors,
  2) pouring libations; and
  3) giving the dead decent burials
  4) providing basic needs to their children
  5) bringing up children to be morally upright individuals.
• Further to this, the African traditional family is responsible for the upbringing, caring, and protection of its children. This is demonstrated by the nuclear family, which provides necessities required to meet and satisfy the economic needs of its members.
• The African traditional family is expected to participate in communal activities. Work in the family was divided according to age, gender and social status. Each family member worked for its basic needs as well as the welfare of the community. ​

The African family had well-stated and practiced values There were 

1. respect for family members
2. providing responsible parenthood, which is the process of bringing up children to become all round or self reliant persons
3. educating children in all aspects of life.

Parents and the extended family members helped their children to develop intellectually and cognitively. The family taught children physical skills. It also gave children confidence to appreciate their physical strength. 

Children were taken through a rigorous physical curriculum of games such as wrestling, swimming and running to develop their physical strength, Children’s bodies were nourished thoroughly. They were served good and nutritious food, which improved their muscle strength. 

Children were taught social skills. They learnt how to behave towards adults, peers and grandparents. They developed social skills since parents allowed them to socialize and interact with other children, grandparents and the community. This made them grow socially, emotionally and psychologically. They had a curriculum for teaching and training in traditional African religious values, family matters, moral and social values. 

This teaching of children started from an early age. The teaching method used was observation and practice. Parents taught by being good role models. They were expected to model desired values and family practices. Children were taught how to relate with one another as brothers and sisters. Parents were to show tolerance to children. 

These values show that African parents understood their parental roles and responsibilities. These values were sometimes; exploited by the irresponsible family members or specific individuals. This exploitation encouraged dependency, leading to conflicts, competition, hatred, and jealousy.

​Christian parents are expected to train their children to know God, be self -disciplined, and follow the Christian way of living. Another duty is to provide basic needs to their children.

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Read again about the Christian teachings about marriage.

Christian understanding of the family

• ​Among Christians, family is sacred and instituted by God.

• Role of children in the Christian family A Christian child is expected to obey parents, honor them, and respect parents. This is one of the Ten Commandments given to Moses by God.

Parenting styles

1. Dictatorship /authoritative / autocratic — the parents is the final authority, imposes decisions 
2. Permissive or liberal style — also referred to as «Laissez faire” the children do as they want
3. Democratic style — parents discuss with their children on family issues. This is the best style 

Problems related to family life today

Families are faced with numerous problems such as:-

1. Children abuse — sex assault, beating
2. Domestic violence — abusive language, frequent fights, emotional abuse
3. Diseases e.g. HIV / AIDS epilepsy, autism.
4. Children with special needs, blindness, deafness or those with mental challenges, motor co — ordination (Autism)
5. Separation, divorce
6. Childlessness
7. Single parent families — economic hardships
8. Misuse of family resources, economic crisis
9. Affluence — a lot of wealth
10. Unemployment, underemployment
11. Retrenchment — laying off of some employees in order to reduce the workforce
12. Mismanagement of family finances
13. Alcohol and drug abuse
14. The generation gap
15. Poor relations with in-laws
16. Cultural and religious differences

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Traditional African approaches to problems related to family life today

1. Individuals were prepared for challenges of family life right from childhood
   
2. Adolescents, initiates were given family life education
   
3. People entered marriage knowing that it’s a life long union
   
4. Rules were clear to govern marriage relations
   
5. Polygamy helped reduce unfaithfulness
   
6. There were no single parent families. Members lived together reducing loneliness 
   
7. Widows / widowers were encouraged to marry again
   
8. Traditional brew was taken in moderation

Christian’s approaches to problems related to family life today

•  Christian families are obliged to live according to Christian principles and values such as mutual respect, self discipline, understanding, honesty, faithfulness, love and forgiveness
• Premarital counseling is carried out
• Church holds regular seminars and conferences on family life matters. Love and respect for each other. Christian wife to submit to husband who is head of the family. They are taught to take each other as complementary and equal partners.
• Women are encouraged to form participate in church organizations e.g. mothers union, women’s guild where they learn roles of being a wife, mother, and a woman.
• Some churches offer advice to families on management of their families. They are encouraged to have investments.
• Breadwinner is encouraged to write a written will
• To improve the parent — child relationship churches offer guidance and counseling to the youth Christian parents are advised to set positive role models to their children
• Parents are encouraged to be open and promote effective communication with their children
• Churches in case of serious family conflicts such as child abuse, domestic violence, advice legal action.

KCSE FORM 1 MATHEMATICS KENYA

• Churches organize youth seminars where they talk about drug abuse, premarital sex, negative peer pressure and media influence etc.
• Relevant information is passed through books, pamphlets, magazines, media FM, TV etc.
• Some churches welcome unwed mothers
• Churches provide health services, guidance on HlV/AIDS
• Some churches care for widows, orphans widowers and the needy

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Revision questions

1. ​State the different types of families
2. Outline six lessons on family relationship drawn from the incident when Jesus accompanied his parent to the temple at the age of twelve.  (6marks)
3. Give reasons why the early Christians lived together in one community
4. Highlight conditions which divorce could be allowed in traditional African Communities
5. State the various ways in which Christians resolve misunderstanding between parents and their children
6. Discuss reasons why members of Christian families in Kenya find it difficult to harmoniously live together.
7. Give five reasons why Christians in Kenya encouraged young people to seek church weddings.
8. State five advantages of a monogamous marriage.  (5 marks)
9. What factors have contributed to sexual immorality among the youth in Kenya today?  (7marks)
10. Give five reasons which motivate Christians to take vows in marriage (5 marks)
11. Identify five effects of irresponsible sexual behaviour in Kenya today.        (5 marks)    
12. State ways in which sex is abused in Kenya.   (6marks)
13. Describe the problems faced by a family living with a member who is living with Acquired immune Deficiency syndrome.(AIDS) (7marks)
    
14. Give five reasons why trial marriage is condemned by the church    (5 marks)
    
15. State the causes of prostitution in Kenya today.    (8 marks)